The Signature
by Leia de Flourite
Summary: Everything Ziva wants is his signature on the recommendation.  But Gibbs is hesitating.
1. Part 1: Ziva

Everything Ziva wants is his signature on the recommendation. But Gibbs is hesitating. This is what TV didn't show at the end of episode 7x03, "Inside Man", but this is too important to be left out, so I wrote down what my heart showed me. A little Zibbs, but not much.

**Disclaimer:** NCIS does not belong to me; it belongs to David Bellisarius and CBS.

Same goes for the song text I used; the lyrics belong to the artist.

* * *

**Part 1: Ziva**

_Carrying bags and a navy taxi man said  
"Take your time love  
'Cause you don't have to rush  
__ 'Cause it's your life and it's no one else's, sweetheart  
Don't let someone put you in a box." _

_So I take all that other stuff that I said before  
And I'm gonna make it work  
Because I'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall_

Kate Nash, "Navy Taxi"

The byro was placed right above the printed piece of paper, but nothing happened. She was standing in front of his desk in a nice-schoolgirl-waiting-for-daddy-to-praise-her pose and felt really useless.

Decorative, but useless.

And while she observated him, with her restless fingers nestling on the hem of her violet shirt, Ziva started to wonder.

What was it that kept him hesitating?

They had talked to each other ond Ziva had hoped, that every single doubt had been eliminated. She had hoped, everything would be okay between them, that it could be again like it was before… a foolish thought, retrospectively. She had changed. The things that happened during her captivity in South Africa had torn her apart a little bit. It hat broken her just a little bit, but enough to make Gibbs and Director Vance suspicious.

There was just one thing Ziva could trust in: that he was still the same.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the man, who could be bent by noone and that was what she appreciated about him. And because he was still the same, he would know that he could trust her unconditionally. He just _had to_ realisethe true meaning of this document. And what she really wanted to say, when she had told him, that the wishes of her father were irrelevant.

Gibbs had used to ask her, if she was with him. Well, actually she was the one with the question and he replied with the counter question, but who cared.[1] The answer was this:

She was his girl, she's always been.

'Maybe I should have left out the "you're like a father to me" part… Maybe that was to much.'

Ziva didn't feel for Gibbs like she felt for a father, she had chosen the wrong words to express her feelings. But that happened often – English was just not the best language to describe something [2]. He was not a father for her, he was way to… present in her life.

He had teased her and challenged her, had listened to her, when she was close to the breaking point and he had tried to protect her, but only when he knew, she wasn't able to do it herself.

He was more than a father. So much more.

She was waiting.

She was waiting for his signature, while her thoughts driftet back to Mexico…

* * *

[1] Season 3, I guess. Gibbs told Tony and McGee what to do and Ziva asked: "And I'm with you, yes?" Gibbs replied: "I don't know Ziva, are you?" I love that moment. ^ ^

[2] Stephen King wrote this in "on writing". He also said that when many people speak german, it sounds like big machinery. I disagree. But even if it sounds like that, german is still a language with more synonyms. And it is the language of gorgeous words like angst, doppelganger and kindergarten. Blitzkrieg too, but this word is not nice. Unfortunately, we failed to find a correct translation for words like creepy.

So? What do you think? I know it's short (actually, that was why I picked it, translating something is quite stressful -.- I had to check up ), and I know one has to be quite into the situation, because I wrote this short fic just after the episode aired in Germany. I just hope my grammar doesn't suck. This is by far not the first fanfic I ever wrote but it's the first one I translated into English and I have no beta reader, so I'm glad it is so short. ^^ Another reason for picking this ff is that I already finished it. There will be two more chapters, the next one from Gibbs POV and the third one will actually contain dialogue. (Shocking, huh? XD)


	2. Part 2: Jethro

**Part 2: Jethro**

_

* * *

And I'd try to help you walk along but I'd probably end up pushing you over _

_But don't worry; I'll never let you fall_

_And I'm stubborn and I shout and I'll cut you out _

_And I'll make you feel like I never wanted to make you feel_

Kate Nash, "Navy Taxi"

* * *

He didn't know his own name anymore. The hand holding the biro had become alien to him.

His mouth was dry, his head empty and on his arms this little hills of skin were rising that one used to call goose bumps. The latter one was her fault.

He hated being watched while signing. His own incapability made him wanting to scream and scold someone, but he was able to keep his temper because she was the only one around.

Gibbs knew that a signature didn't require concentration. It was something one could do without looking at or thinking about it, once one got used to it.

He looked down on the document. Two black lines framed the floral white column, making the paper look naked, almost obscene. He knew he should be doing this but he forgot how to do it.

Why?  
He didn't want to atone for his sins this way. The things Ziva had told him in his cellar have been haunting him like a ghost. Well, he didn't believe in ghosts and ghuls and those sorts of things – that was Abby's métier – but he recognized the feeling as what it was: guilt. The most real ghost that one could be haunted by.

* * *

"…_And the closest thing I have…"she says, falling silent for a few seconds, "…to a father…" _

_He noticed her jaw was shaking a little bit._

"…_is accusing me."_

_Her eyes are glistening because of the tears she is holding back._

_How long is she holding back these emotions?_

_How long?_

* * *

Instead of wondering about this question, Jethros first impulse is…

What the heck was that supposed to mean, the closest thing she had to a father?

He was not her Dad, she was not his daughter. Looking at Ziva had never awakened any memories of Kelly – how could it? Those girls were from two different worlds, two different parts of his life. He liked Ziva but he had never given her any favors, just because she was who she was.

And he had committed a crime on her trust.

Gibbs wondered why he had accused her of being fake all along. He had never been a man that could be fooled easily and even if someone had fooled him, this didn't last long. And this woman, who had worked four years under his supervising, should have betrayed him all at once? He should never have noticed that she had staged the death of her own brother to obtain his – Gibbs' – trust surreptitously? This was what he was supposed to believe.

Being fooled like that was an insult.

It was anger that gnawed on Gibb's mind. He was angry that he believed this crap from Vance and that he had felt insulted by Ziva. He had payed more attention to his hurt pride than his heart.

What he still called "his guts".

But inside this big bubble of anger… did he also feel a little bit of shame that he accused her of being a cold heartless bitch, worse that all the three of his ex-wifes together? (Oh, he would never choose such words, but he surely made Ziva believe that that was what she was to him.)

You bet.

Ziva had never given him a reason to doubt her loyalty which made it even worse. And it has been a quite stony road to gain his trust. Plastered with corpses, one might say. Of all people it was her who had been able to call him back home from Mexico. Because he cared for her. Because he trusted her completely.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was a bastard and he was fine with that. But the last few days he had been more that that, he had been an ass.

It was time to apologize. No, he really _wanted_ to apologize, not requiring it as a sign of weakness. Among friends, an apology was a sign of respect. Signing this document was the first step.  
_'If you really believed that, you would've done it all along', _a tiny voice in his head was mocking.

* * *

Well, just translating such a little bit of text would not take that amount of time, one might think. One might be wrong with that! ^^ I definitely need a better dictionary and I have no access to the internet at home. *sigh* Also, I wanted to quote a few lines that Ziva said but I don't have Season Seven on DVD, so all I had were the words I remembered her saying in the german dub. Thus, I had to do some research.

So I want to say thank you for my dear friend Martine, who found out for me *giving her name sister the sweetest of hugs*


	3. Part 3: Signature

_**Part 3: Signature**_

_

* * *

And I'm gonna make it work  
Because I'm losing my mind and it's driving me up the wall  
And this time, it will be different,  
This time, it will be different_

Kate Nash, "Navy Taxi"

* * *

He was breathing in and looked aside before he put the biro away.

"Take a seat", he invited. He didn't waste time by saying 'please'; they have been beyond the amenities. To Gibbs, polite words were hypocrisy and a waste of time. Besides, she knew what to think of the things he said. This was an attitude worth of a Mr. Rochester.

Ziva's facial expressions did not give away what she thought about this whole situation when she went to get her chair but she had to admit she was a little surprised. Usually one wasn't able to make him say more than five words and now he wanted to talk – to _palaver_ – of his own accord? She felt a twitch in her stomach, because there could only be one reason for the older one's behaviour. He wouldn't sign this recommendation. He would tell her politely and cautious all the reasons why he refused to do so, just because he might feel that he owned her an explanation.

Gibbs knew that she could ask Tony for his signature, his recommendation would do as well, but she had told him – Gibbs – that she had decided not to work for NCIS without **his** appreciation. And that meant that Gibbs' decision was final.

'_Well, at least he has the manners to feel guilty for doing so'_, the Israeli thought as she sat down but at the same time she felt uneasy to have these thoughts. Being angry with him was unfair. It was his team after all and when he had the feeling that he couldn't trust her… She didn't finish the thought, because if she did, she risked crying again. And this was not the right place to cry.

She was sitting vis-à-vis; his desk just another barrier between them, but not the most insuperable by far. She rested her hands – the left one clenched, the right one cupping the left one, so that both of her thumbs were laying parallel to each other, both of them directed at Gibbs – on the edge of the desk and stared at her fingernails. Maybe it would be easier for him to fire her. No, not firing. He refused her.

The sight of her well manicured fingernails was blocked as he laid his hand on hers.

"How do you sleep?"

Ziva looked up. That was a question she didn't see coming. "With my head on the pillow."

"And you weapon underneath you pillow, I guess. Don't try to be funny, you know what I mean, Ziva. How many hours do you sleep at night?"

"Surely more than you do.", he replied in a demonstratively sharp tone.

Gibbs laughed but the sound was dry and humourless. "Yeah, but I'm not a standard."

"You are wrong. Ask Tony and McGee. This team is only working by your standards. You didn't demand that but… they try to follow you principles because they hope to earn you respect this way. We. We try that." Ziva knew she could handle words very well and hoped this had been unmistakeable: She still regarded herself as a part of the team although she might not have the right to do so. But no matter if she had or had not; it couldn't change her feelings, could it? She would continue feeling this way unless Gibbs sent her away. And then she could only hope that she had enough ice cream at home to get over it.

If Gibbs had recognized the praising in her words, he didn't show it. Of course not. Praising had no value to him because he had no idea how to deal with it, how to reply on it. The grip of his hand tightened. An admonishment to stay on the subject? Or a plea for attention?

"_Do_ you get sleep? Are you having nightmares? Do you weak up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat? These are the things I want to know. Because I won't let you be a member of this team if you are a risk for yourself or the others."

She withdrew her hands. And whispered.

"I would never do something that could harm Tony or McGee. Or you."

You want to now why she mentioned Gibbs last? Because he was not the kind of person who would let anyone harm him.

„Gibbs, I'm fine."

He scanned her critically, until she gave in. "Well, considering the circumstances. I can't deny that I could use somebody to hold my hand at night and who makes me believe that nothing can go wrong but how many people have someone like that? I'm not doing worse than others do. There is no need to protect me. I know what I'm doing."

Ziva almost couldn't grasp how quickly he had the biro in his hand again. The inked roller ball rushed over the paper, leaving a black trace behind. Gibbs did it businesslike, like removing a plaster, pretending his previous questions were somehow his idea of a psychological survey.

"But thank you for doing it, nevertheless", Ziva added.

"What, signing?"

"Protecting me. You... I missed you."

"We all missed you", Gibbs murmured while putting the document on top of a pile of dossiers that would make its way to Director Vance' desk the next morning. And Ziva smiled, watching him. She had not got the answer she wanted to hear, but she had accepted the fact that she would never get it. „See you tomorrow, Gibbs."

"This is just the beginning of a quite complicated -"

"I know", she cut him off and stood up. "But there are visitor's ID cards for a reason."

"And then what? Are you going to sit there, watching our work with puppy eyes?"

"That's better than sitting at home watching soap arias all day. "

Gibbs wondered if he should correct that phrase and chose not to do so.

He had the feeling that he was going to have plenty of time for that.

In the meantime, Ziva wondered if she should rub into his face that she knew the correct term was „soap opera."

* * *

~The END~

Well, that's supposed to stand here but actually this story is a start. A new beginning for Ziva and Gibbs, that's why I found it hard to find some words that make it sound like the end of a chapter.

Anyway... I hoe you believe me that I believe that things could have happened this way, Mr. Bellisarius just failed to show them to us. That's the most important part of writing – that you believe.

I know, I kept you waiting. I would want to apologize, but dolphinsiren reminded me there's a Gibbs' rule on that, so I'm not saying sorry. ^^

If you liked this short story, keep an eye out for my name, I will translate some more next. The name of the story? Archangel.

Greets, Leia


End file.
